So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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