So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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