I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
