end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
