so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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