hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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