Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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