this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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