these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
