So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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