I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
