Don't you send me to vm
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
