My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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