If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
