This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
