My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
