i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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