Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
4 words: hood of his car
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize