that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
