no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
