we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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