why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
