you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
