dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
