and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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