If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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