Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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