Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
