So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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