i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
did i just pee glitter
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
