Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
