oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
