My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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