who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
