i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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