it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just high enough for therapy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize