So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
