What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
