please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
