help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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