i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
