remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
