I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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