Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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