I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize