shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
