You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
