So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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