I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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