Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
