apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
this hospital has no fireball
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Shame is for Republicans.
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