Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
