You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This house was built for laser tag.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
