Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
