His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
