I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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