at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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