He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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