I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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