Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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