And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize