is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
