My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
