I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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