Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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