is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize